So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize