so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
