She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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