You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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