Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
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I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
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And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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