I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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