i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
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The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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