I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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