Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
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its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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