No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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