just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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