Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
