I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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