Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
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I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
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Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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