I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
