I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
i now understand why vodka
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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