I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize