On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize