Christians are straight up FREAKS
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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