I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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