I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
