respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
