And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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