Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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