Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
you never un-have a 4some
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
