I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
