Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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