There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
