Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
