Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
