i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
