yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
