I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
try to milk me bitch
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