And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
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you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
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Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
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