Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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