were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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