her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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