oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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