Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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