And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize