Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize