I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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