A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
