Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Are my feet made of real feet?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
