i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
