Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
