So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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