You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
