The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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