I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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