yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
