I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I think I won the penis lottery.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
