Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Randomize
