I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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