I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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