There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
