if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
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I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
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Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?