fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick