she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that