if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
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I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
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It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years