Soap is not a condiment
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
