I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
