I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
